BLOG.KATHLEENMSCHMIDT.COM

A New Change

2011-07-20T16:13:58Z

Life has many twists and turns and I must confess, I'm going through another BIG change in my world. After 13 years of a relationship/marriage, it is time to end. But a new beginning has been born, a new chapter in my life and perhaps a new book will come out of it. I love living in Seattle with my two young sons and many opportunities are sprouting from our adventures. My "day job" is at Seattle Children's Hospital in their ER and I've been asked to be featured in their "I Am Seattle Children's" video blog series to share my work, Climb for Empowerment, and how Seattle Children's helped save both my son's lives (they each have Type 1 Diabetes).

Life is what you make it, so make it the best life you can!

~Kathleen M. Milliken (Schmidt)
www.kathleenmschmidt.com

© Kathleen M. Schmidt and Project Empowerment

A Gift

2011-06-20T23:56:39Z

There are times in our lives when a gift can arrive in the most unlikely of places. For example, my "day job" is in a busy Emergency Room at Seattle Children's Hospital.

In the ER, we see a lot of cancer patients. One young boy in particular came in recently, and even though it is sad why he is there, the staff lights up because he is such a joy to be around. He simply is happy. It definitely puts in perspective the troubles in our own lives and a lesson on learning to just be and appreciate life.

This is a gift. The smile and giggles from a child who's future is unknown. So many times we become so bogged down with our daily lives, the stresses, worries, work, kids, jobs, relationships and everything else in between. Sometimes it can be too much to bear. One thing I do personally to help when feeling depleted, is feed the soul. How? I personally listen to soothing music to gently allow my spirit to awaken, I write how I feel in my journal. As of late, I weep and it lets my body cleanse itself from any negative feelings. This is all part of allowing oneself to heal.

If you find yourself getting caught up in your emotions, stop for just a moment and ask why you feel this way. Take the blame out of it and ask, what does your heart say? Take a deep breath and simply say to yourself, "just be". Think of something beautiful, a flower blooming, a child's laughter, ocean waves lapping on the shore; call it a 30 second vacation. It works.

My world is crazy busy, two kids, both have Type 1 Diabetes; my work with Project Empowerment and preparing for my Climb for Empowerment as well as my work at the hospital. But even during this busyness, I make the time to write, to sit for a few moments to meditate and appreciate each breath I take and say a simple prayer of gratitude.

Some wonderful words of advise from my friend James Arthur Ray, "If you feel splintered start by getting clear that you choose to be whole and healed." Harmonic Wealth pg 145.

I wish you happiness, health and healing in your journey on this big beautiful planet. Take time to stop and smell the roses.

~Kathleen M. Schmidt

www.kathleenmschmidt.com

The funny thing about relationships is…..

2011-04-06T21:44:00Z

While walking around Green Lake today I kept thinking about how the subject of relationships keeps coming up in my life. On Facebook, on my blog, on Twitter….in my personal life. Communication seems to be the number one culprit to spoiling a would be healthy relationship. It is either lacking, missing, or there’s simply too much talking and not enough listening. In my work I hear all sorts of stories, not just about domestic violence, but about relationships. “How can I make him love me” is one question that I’ve been asked. My answer, you can’t. You have to love you and if he loves you for you, then that matters. “But I love him so much”…..you love the idea of being in love with him. I know this all too well, that is how I ended up marrying the first guy who asked me out.

I never dated in high school. Not because there weren’t any prospects, but I was told not to. Yes, it goes back to how my parents raised me, steeped in a religion that only allows marriage and dating within its boxed walls. So I pretty much had 0 experience with boys. I ran into marriage with the rose colored glasses and the guy was full of charm, romance, and manners and even liked my mother. Looking back, of course hindsight is 20/20, I can see the red flags right off. He was very controlling, but I felt “protected”. He was very manipulative, but I felt I was “being taken care of”. My biggest mistake with all of this was I never learned to stand on my own two feet. I didn’t take the time to “test drive the car” before I purchased. I married him 6 months after we met. It was fast, rushed, and I didn’t have time to really think about what I was getting into.

You can read more about my story in my book “Escaping The Glass Cage: A Story of Survival & Empowerment from Domestic Violence” (you can order it here). But I’m getting off track. Relationships and communication. They go hand in hand, yet seem to be the biggest topic of relationship breakdown out there. I will not say I’m an expert on this subject as I’m still learning the art of communication myself. But I will share with you what I do know.

Today I read a wonderful quote:

"Without good communication, a relationship is merely a hollow vessel carrying you along on a frustrating journey fraught with the perils of confusion, projection & misunderstanding." Cherie Carter-Scott

This hit home. How many times do we feel we are expressing ourselves, baring our soul to our partner, and they simply don’t “get it”? Let me ask you this, how many times have you listened, really listened to the words between the words, the real message your partner is attempting to convey? Trust me on this, it isn’t easy. I have found over the years, those words can be laced with fear, frustration, confusion or simply ignorance. What to do about it? This is the conundrum I’ve found myself in and have heard many others in. There is no magic formula. It takes work to create a relationship that will last from both parties.

I’ve had my heart broken plenty of times to know the romance doesn’t last all the time. You have to take the good with all the ugly too. We long for love and romance, we watch movies about people who cross the continent to find each other at the top of the Empire State Building and everyone lives happily ever after. I want to see the life after 10 years. How did they get along, how did they build their life? I want to learn what they did to help their life together last so long. Are they truly happy, or was that simply a journey and did they move on?

Lots of questions, I know, but I have to ask them. We each should ask them. A friend of mine shared a piece from his work and I thought it fit very nicely with this blog:

“Letting go of the ego and living in the flow, you will feel the need to impress, convince or “be right” diminish”. (pg 131 Practical Spirituality by James Arthur Ray)

So my advise today on relationships and communication is take the time to listen, really listen to what your partner is saying. Let go of the ego, keep your mouth shut (unless they ask for feed-back) and let them share what it is they are feeling……. without judgment. The next step of the journey? We shall see.........

~Kathleen M. Schmidt
www.kathleenmschmidt.com

© Kathleen M. Schmidt and Project Empowerment

Why am I climbing Mt. Rainier?

2011-03-10T06:05:00Z

Because it is something I've wanted to do for a long time. It is also something I fear, I'm afraid of heights. But you know what? Aside from all the physical work I'm doing to prepare, there is the mental work. I need to face my fear head on, shake it's hand and say "thank you for visiting, but I have a mountain to climb".

I am doing this as a symbol of the strength it takes to renew a life. Over 15 years ago I lived in a shelter for battered women after fleeing for my life from domestic violence. I had been shot, suffered broken ribs, a broken arm, beaten to unconsciousness, strangled, had a knife to my throat more then I can remember.......but I survived. I found my strength and I left, never to return.

By climbing Mt. Rainier, I hope that those who have suffered at the hands of abuse and domestic violence can find their strength. Perhaps those in abuse can see, there is a chance at a new life, a new beginning to their world. I wrote my story with the intention to empower survivors of Domestic Violence. I created Project Empowerment to bring listeners the people who are working hard to make their world a better place and it's quickly become an audio resource for many survivors. But I felt the need to do more, so this climb came together. It is part of my own path of healing and I hope an inspiration for you as well.

Please support this work by sponsoring the climb, purchasing a team T-Shirt or simply donating a few dollars that is going to Girl Child Network Worldwide and The Pixel Project. Help us spread the word to empower survivors of domestic violence and abuse....one step at a time.

www.climbforempowerment.com

Climb for Empowerment

September 1-3, 2011

CNN Hero Betty Makoni Visits Seattle

2011-01-18T14:49:00Z

Quite recently I was given a rare privilege to host the Top 10 CNN Hero of the Year for 2009, Ms. Betty Makoni. She was in the states from England for a prominent speaking engagement at Duke University. When they asked her where she would like to go after her visit with them, she said, “I want to go to Seattle to see Kathleen.” Then she had to explain to them who I am and what I do. I am deeply honored to not only have had her stay with me in my home, but allowed me to set up several speaking engagements for both of us in Seattle and San Juan Island.

I am filled with gratitude for everyone who helped me put the events together which I will share a little later. So let me begin about our journey with Betty’s first visit to the Pacific Northwest.

When my youngest son and I picked her up at the airport I felt as if I finally got to meet my sister for the first time. We had a quiet dinner (well, with my two busy boys, quiet is relative) at my home and she enjoyed time with my kids. My little one was upset she didn’t bring her boys with her so they could play.

Despite our already busy schedule, I made sure we had some relaxing time. So I took her to the Pike Place Market to have lunch at Athenian (you know, the same place Tom Hanks was filmed in “Sleepless in Seattle”). We visited shops, chatted, and shared stories about our boys. She is so filled with gratitude for what she has that even with little sleep, she allowed me to show her the sites of Seattle.

That night we picked up my Auntie Rose and my little one tagged along with us to the Space Needle for dinner. We laughed, shared stories, enjoyed some wine and amazing food. Auntie presented Betty a handmade broach (her hobby is Brazilian needlework). Betty was moved as this is something created from Aunties own hands.

I secretly asked our waitress to surprise Betty with a special dessert, a fancy presentation of dry ice billowing smoke out from under ice-cream with a yummy fruit sauce and candle. It was so much fun!

The waitress asked what the special occasion was for, so of course I told her we are with a CNN Hero. She asked what the award was for so I told her for her humanitarian work rescuing rape victims in Zimbabwe. This of course opened up further conversation and she shared her daughter is a rape survivor. It amazes me how many times I speak with people that they know someone or they themselves have been affected by rape and/or domestic violence.

We also had the privilege of having authentic Zimbabwe food from a friend we both met on Facebook. So after a very long day and commute from the event on San Juan Island, we zipped down to Tacoma for food and met some amazing people from Betty's homeland. It also turns out they are related! I didn't understand the language spoken, Shona, but I did understand the love felt. They where warm, inviting and so welcoming to us.

How do you explain who Betty Makoni is?

In a word, AMAZING. We share so many of the same ideals and dreams. I learned so much from her in 4 days and I have to say, it was life changing. She taught me about her empowerment program for her girls who are rescued from rape and abuse. They are brought to the Empowerment Village’s after getting medical care and stay up to 6 months empowering them.

She shared that part of the Girl Child Model is not only to bring up their self-esteem, but teach them to be resourceful, so they do not become reliant on people donating to help them or turn to prostitution or even marrying an older man. She teaches them to become leaders, business owners; girls and young women who learn to stand up for their own human rights and create a better life for themselves.

One of the poor girls that Betty helped is now going to Oxford. Because someone believed in her and that instilled the young women amazing work ethics and motivation to make her life better. Many are going to school to become lawyers, accountants, even police officers.

It was a great privilege to speak at the events with her. We spoke first the University of Washington Women’s Center, then Bush School and finally, San Juan Island Community Theater. We where guests on a local radio station and Betty also gave a presentation to Seattle Children’s Hospital Social work and they found it very interesting and thoroughly enjoyed meeting Betty. We met with staff at Harborview Center for Sexual Assault and Traumatic Stress. Betty was able to ask the medical staff important questions regarding treatment and exams after rape. Harborview not only answered her questions in great detail, but also provided resources for her to bring back to the medical staff that works with the girls in all the locations her Empowerment Villages are. (please visit my website under Speaking Engagements for further details on where we visited)

We met with the Executive Director & Assistant Professor of Womens’ Studies at the UW just before the event there. I must confess, being in a meeting with two very powerful women was a little intimidating. You see, people are surprised I didn’t go to college. I don't have a degree in anything but Majoring in the University of Heart Knocks. But I know how to work and I rely on books and asking questions to teach me. My passion to help others and drive to create a better life for myself has led me this far. So there I was, in this room discussing ideas with these amazing women.

After which we went down to the theater where the volunteers set up Betty’s CNN banner on the stage. People began to show and yes, I was nervous. So what did we talk about? Perhaps we can start with what I shared.

“My name is Kathleen Schmidt; I’m a survivor of domestic violence and abuse and fled for my life over 15 years ago.

When I was living in a shelter for battered women, I kept telling myself over and over, "I have a brain, two hands, two feet and I know how to work; I WILL make my life better". I chose to become a victor instead of a victim.

So finally, after many years needed to grow and heal, I wrote my little blue book "Escaping the Glass Cage: A Story of Survival & Empowerment from Domestic Violence". But it didn’t feel like that was enough. I wanted to find a way to reach more people on a global scale.

So I created Project Empowerment, a blog talk radio show dedicated to empowering survivors of domestic violence and abuse as well as empowerment for all. My guests have included Betty Makoni (she was my first guest), I’ve also had on actress/author Mariel Hemingway, King 5's New Day Northwest host, Margaret Larson; as well as shelter directors from all over the world, psychotherapists, counselors and survivors. Each sharing their story passion and work they are doing to make their world a better place.

It is humbling to be contacted by listeners from all around the world, to learn the vital resources shared and how their sheer will power helped them gain the strength to leave their abuser. My dream to create Project Empowerment into a global resource tool is coming true.

But again, I felt there needed to be something else I can do to raise awareness. So I am proud to announce Climb for Empowerment, with the mission to empower survivors of domestic violence and abuse….one step at a time. I will be climbing Mt. Rainier this September in honor of all those who have struggled to start their lives over.

It is by choice, to take one step after another. My dream is to show the world, if I can make a new life, so can you, one step at a time. I know how hard it is to rebuild a life. It takes a lot of courage to start over, learn how to live again and grow through the pain. So this climb is more of a symbol of that growth. It will take time, training and a lot of determination to do this and I will need your support. Donations will be shared between Betty’s organization Girl Child Network Worldwide and also The Pixel Project. Both are global initiatives to help end violence against women. The official links are found at www.climbforempowerment.com

How did I meet Betty?

Just over a year ago we met via, of all things, Facebook. With the power of the internet we have forged an alliance to empower survivors of domestic violence and abuse worldwide. This is a global problem, but how does one take on such a monumental task? It is done step by step, day by day, finding new ways to help other and never giving up on your dreams. If Betty can build an organization with a model that can be duplicated worldwide, why not use it to help others?

Her work has empowered tens of thousands of girls worldwide with Girl Child Empowerment Clubs, Girls Empowerment & Education Fund, Advocacy & Speak Out, and Girls Empowerment Villages-Support for girls at Risk.

Just like Domestic violence, abuse of young girls recognizes no borders, cultures, creed or color. It is everywhere and represents a massive loss of human potential as well as a gross violation of human rights.
But we can do something about it. Listen to Betty, learn from her words and example and find that inspiration within you to create the change we need to see in our world.

For as Gandhi once said, “A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history" “

In closing I also shared with the audience that my book along with the DVD "Girl Child", film we shared where available in the back for a small donation. The generosity was overwhelming.

After my speech, Betty took the stage and delivered a powerful message, starting off with her story off about her grandmother and the taboos she faced having twins, multiple times. Then the domestic violence that took her mother’s life while Betty was still very young. Betty was raped at age 6 and saw her mother being beaten to death at the hands of her father when she was 8. Her story is powerful and she is currently working on her book.

But my favorite part of her story is when she had to run for the bus. The bus that took her to school. The school that gave her an education. The education that gave her the freedom to get a job. But most of all, the lessons learned in this journey. You see, Betty worked for everything. She did not have grants or parents to put her through school. She worked for her tuition and wasn’t afraid to be a “Dignified Beggar” to get what she wanted.

Betty told the Catholic Nuns while in tattered and dirty clothes to allow her to work for her tuition so she could go to school. She told them "I have a brain, but no money, give me an education and I will work." She knew an education was her ticket out of poverty and she worked for it. In a country where women are not encouraged to get an education, she was already facing an up-hill battle, but she did it. She teaches what she knows and I am doing the same.

During Betty's speech, she shared with several of the young people "have books, not babies; babies cry, books don't". The kids laughed and the parents loved it as not only was it true, it was empowering.
We did the same presentation at Bush School here in Seattle which was organized by a passionate high-schooler. She wrote me a note thanking me for bringing Betty to Seattle. You see, we met some months back when there was a film being premiered here in town about Betty’s work and I was the presenter. This young woman decided at the last minute to come and she is so glad she did.

We shared our stories, our passion and our work with the young people and their parents and they were so moved. Betty and I were presented with flowers and it was truly touching. And again, people gave generously.

While at the San Juan Island event (our biggest one during the entire trip) we spoke to up to about 180 people. They filmed us in HD and when it is available, I will share the link. We did our presentation and again at the Q & A, many, many had powerful questions for Betty. But I think what stood out for me the most was how many men were in attendance. One thanked Betty for being there, for sharing her story and for her work.

Please note, all the monies raised will go to the Empowerment Villages and to their Education Fund. This will help all of them for 3 months (there are about 60 girls in each of the 3 villages). I cannot stress enough how important it is that these girls are not just given handouts. As Betty puts it, it is a waste if money is only given and not used wisely. You have to teach them how to be resourceful. So that is what happens. GCNW is creating opportunities for girls and young women to become active participants in their communities through the vocational training program. Something as simple as creating handmade baskets or beads is giving girls an opportunity to build a business instead of feeling they have to resort to prostitution or marriage to survive.

Betty started all of this with a dream; A dream to do everything in her power to empower all girls. She says, “You save a girl, you save a nation.”

We've created a powerful alliance and I know I have a great deal of work ahead of me. What is the next step? I've been invited to work with women at a local shelter, to speak with them not only about my story but what tools I personally used to carve a new life for myself. I will continue to create new shows each week, sharing valuable information that may save a life. And training for Mt. Rainier is a daily progress. Not only do I workout, but mentally I focus on why I'm doing this. I have no mountaineering skills, my starting from ground zero is so symbolic of a woman who is fleeing for her life and beginning again.

What can you do? It takes time to create change in the world and it will not happen until people begin to change their attitudes and beliefs. It starts with each of us. Stop putting blame on politics, religion, your boss or your spouse......anything that you feel causes you grief. Look at that person in the mirror and ask yourself, "What can I do right now to make my world a better place?" Then do something. Help Betty's organization Girl Child Network Worldwide and create an Empowerment Club in your area. Find a way to give back, if only your time and energy.

As I shared before, Betty’s visit to Seattle was life changing. It was also a dream come true. I knew in my heart we would not only meet, but work together. We have great passion to help bring peace and empowerment to our world and we are doing it together…………one step at a time.

To learn more about Betty Makoni and her work please visit www.muzvarebettymakoni.org
For her work with Girl Child Network Worldwide please visit www.girlchildnetworkworldwide.org

Thank you!

~Kathleen M. Schmidt
www.kathleenmschmidt.com
www.climbforempowerment.com
www.projectempowerment.info

© Kathleen M. Schmidt and Project Empowerment

Domestic Violence, Why Does The Victim Stay?

2010-11-24T18:39:00Z

Just the other day I was speaking with a woman who once worked the hotline for a domestic violence center here in Seattle. She said many times the local police would become disheartened with victims who have repeatedly called the police, but then don't press charges or leave......why is that?

I told her one of the biggest reasons is fear. Fear of a new life, fear of her abuser and what he can do to her and/or her children, fear of herself. It is paralyzing, I know it. Police came to my door after a neighbor saw my now ex throw me across our garage. The garage door was open and she saw it. When the police came, I stood there at the door shaking, fighting the tears and my ex was a few feet behind me talking calmly, “tell them everything is fine and close the door.” They couldn’t do anything unless I admitted it and asked for help. My ex also threatened to kill me if I said anything.

I share this story in my book and it breaks my heart when I hear women not leaving or going right back to their abuser. But it is because she is afraid. Her self esteem has been smashed down so much; she doesn’t know what she can do to rebuild her life. Sometimes pride is in the way of going to a shelter. She has responsibilities of a job, or she’s afraid to take the children away from their father. Only she will know.

But if you find yourself encountered with someone you clearly know is being abused, don’t turn the other way. Offer support, encouragement; ideas that can help her reclaim her life. The National Domestic Abuse Hotline is only a phone call away at 1-800-799-SAFE.

Please remember, it takes time for her to even understand or realize she is being abused. When I was being beaten, I thought it was my fault, but it was not. NO ONE should treat another human that way. There is NO reason for it.

So now, with my little blue book of hope, “Escaping The Glass Cage: A Story of Survival & Empowerment from Domestic Violence” has become my mission to shed some light from the victims point of view. Along with Project Empowerment, I'm diligently working to raise awareness and empowerment on Domestic Violence issues, including climbing Mt. Rainier in 2011 "Empowering Survivors of Domestic Violence & Abuse......One Step At A Time".

My hope is that Climb For Empowerment will not only bring awareness to others, but also strength. If I can come from severe abuse and rebuild a new life, swim with sharks, raise two boys and climb a mountain......they too can take that step and learn to live again.

May these words help you understand a little on what goes on in Domestic Violence and only through empowerment and education can we work together to build a peaceful world.

~Kathleen M. Schmidt

www.kathleenmschmidt.com

www.climbforempowerment.com

Project Empowerment Supports the "Paint It Purple Campaign" 2010

2010-10-14T21:03:00Z

Project Empowerment is proud to support The Pixel Project's "Paint it Purple Campaign" 2010! Of course, I go by the beat of my own drum and baked cookies instead of cupcakes. Why am I doing this? The Pixel Projects main focus is to help end violence against women, all over the world. So they bring together organizations that are doing just that, into one database, The Pixel Project . Regina You was a recent guest on my show and shared more information about her work and why she started this organization. You can listen to that podcast here.

So back to the cookies, why did I make those instead of cupcakes? Well, to be quite honest with you, I much, much better at baking cookies over cupcakes. Each cookie is wrapped with a purple ribbon in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I've attached a card from The Pixel Project. Simple. Filled up a basket with them, shot out an email to all my co-workers (my day job is at a local hospital ER) and will be off to work soon with all these goodies (plus a copy of my own book "Escaping The Glass Cage: A Story of Survival )

I hope this inspires YOU to find a way to help end violence against women and empower your world today!

~Kathleen M. Schmidt
www.kathleenmschmidt.com

© Kathleen M. Schmidt and Project Empowerment

The Second Step

2010-07-01T01:27:00Z

While watching a fascinating documentary about the early Everest climbers, George Mallory and Andrew Irvine, who where lost high on Everest in 1924, I pondered about the amount of work that was involved to prepare for such a momentous climb. Back then, their equipment wasn’t as reliable as today. They dealt with leaking oxygen tanks that broke often; clothing was nothing more than cotton and wool, and no fancy ice boots but leather hiking boots and wool socks to keep their feet warm.

But what struck me was the massive determination to attempt the summit. To be the first human to ever reach over 29,000 feet above sea level, and survive to tell the story. They didn’t have helicopters or airplanes to bring them in. Their journey was on train, then donkey or by foot just to get to the village near the base. The entire expedition itself could take up to 6 months. Then they faced the long hike to base camp at approximately 17,000 feet above sea level (just for point of reference as there are two base camps, one in Nepal and one in Tibet). Back then, and now, Sherpa’s helped with carrying supplies and food up to the camps.

They would have a compass, an altimeter, ice ax, ropes, and very early and non-reliable oxygen tanks. It was necessary they had great mountaineering skills as much of their climbing involved scaling walls of ice and rock. No GPS, no radio communication, as a matter of fact, if someone was injured or presumed dead, they would spread out blankets in the shape of a cross for those at base camp to see via telescope. Base camp would reply with another code using the same fashion.

Sadly, Mallory and Irvine perished on the mountain, about 1000 feet from the summit. One body was found, that of George Mallory, and during the research done about their climb, they concluded the men may have slipped while attempting to ascend or descend the Second Step. What is so important about the Second Step, as there are many, many levels and obstacles on Everest? For starters, the Second Step itself involves a 10-food high slab of vertical rock, to start with and exposure to thousands of feet of a drop below. At the time Mallory and Irvine would have had to climb without the aid of a ladder or other modern climbing equipment, just their mountaineering skills along with rope and their ice axes. The thing of it is, Second Step is so very close to the top of the mountain as it resides between 28,140 - 28,300 ft. (http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/everest/climb/waytosummitnor.html)

There is great speculation as to whether they managed to climb the Second Step or not. But one thing is for certain, they met their deaths near this spot. Mallory and Irvine had no lead ropes, no ladders, no one to blaze the trail for them and simply their own skill and pure motivation to make it to the summit. Why did they do it despite all the risks? Because it was there. They had such a drive, a calling to conquer this mountain. As for Mallory, historians believe it was for death or glory, sadly, he got both.

Today, the mountain looms above sea level at 29,029 ft. It has attracted many a climber, some highly skilled, some not so. It has also claimed many lives. Bodies that cannot be brought down are left up on the mountain, wrapped in a tent, or simply lying on the side of the trail. A somber reminder of the dangers involved with climbing at high altitude. It takes great preparation, not just for acclimatization, but also the physical and mental work involved to ready for a climb.

Watching the research team work up the side of Mt. Everest to study the case of Mallory and Irvine was truly amazing. They too had to hike up to and from various camps to acclimate and tend to altitude sickness. Filming their journey and sharing the experience of what it is like to be on top of the world.

Sir Edmund Hillary once said, “While standing on top of Everest, I looked across the valley, towards the other great peak, Makalu, and mentally worked out a route about how it could be climbed… it showed me that, even though I was standing on top of the world, it wasn’t the end of everything for me, by any means. I was still looking beyond to other interesting challenges.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmund_Hillary)

And that is what it is all about. It’s not just about conquering your “mountain” you are facing in your life, but what other mountains do you wish to climb? We are faced each day with choices. Some may be challenging, some not. But each and every day is a way of preparing ourselves for that big climb, which will bring you to another climb and so forth.

That is what finding your passion in your life is about. Really reaching for what speaks to you, what feeds your soul? How do you do that? Start by writing down what it is you wish to accomplish. What is that “mountain” you wish to climb? Then just as if you were preparing an expedition, list out all of the tools, training, schedule, etc., that will day by day lead you closer to your goal. Maybe you have no desire to climb an “Everest”, that’s ok. The important thing is you have something you are looking towards and wanting to accomplish.

Climbing your mountain isn’t the end all either. There should always be more to see and do in your life. What can you do to contribute to your world? What gifts can you share with your family, community, friends, colleagues, people you see every day?

Sir Edmund Hillary had the right idea; he said once, “I don't know if I particularly want to be remembered for anything. I have enjoyed great satisfaction from my climb of Everest and my trips to the poles. But there's no doubt, either, that my most worthwhile things have been the building of schools and medical clinics. That has given me more satisfaction than a footprint on a mountain.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmund_Hillary)

Whether you are facing your “Second Step” or just the first one, remember each day you have the choice to keep climbing, keep moving forward, resting if need be, but never losing sight of the bigger goal or intention you wish to accomplish and always listen to your heart.

~Kathleen M. Schmidt

www.kathleenmschmidt.com

For more information about Mt. Everest, Irvine, Mallory and Hillary, please visit:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/everest/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mt._Everest

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everest_Base_Camp

Going for the Gold on Oprah's new network and OWN TV!

2010-05-20T21:35:00Z

When “going for the gold”, what comes to mind? Most likely the Olympics and the amazing athletes who have worked for years to hone their skills for some fierce competition. But another idea comes to mind, going for a dream that can that is so big, and so real, that all of the life events leading up to it help prepare one for “The Gold”. And that is what I am striving for. Oprah sent out the invitation to audition for your own TV show on OWN TV and her new network. Why do I feel qualified to go after my own show? To start with, I am the creator, writer, producer and director of Project Empowerment.

What is Project Empowerment? It all started when my debut book came out titled, “Escaping The Glass Cage: A Story of Survival & Empowerment from Domestic Violence” last November. I wanted to find a way to do more and expand on my book. One of my dreams is to get a copy in every shelter around the world to help empower survivors, men and women, from domestic violence and abuse.

That is how Project Empowerment was born, which is now currently a popular internet radio show on Blog Talk Radio. I would love to bring this to TV as each week I interview people who are diligently working to make a difference in their world. My guests have included a gender rights activist, Betty Makoni, the 2009 CNN Hero of the year who has created villages in Zimbabwe designed to empower girls, from rape victims to leaders in their community. I’ve interviewed psychotherapists, very well known authors such as Caroline Sutherland and even actress and author Mariel Hemingway, who is also known for her health and wellness passion. Each show I do is focused in empowering lives everywhere, and not just about Domestic Violence and abuse.

I believe we each have a voice, a story and a message to share and my mission is to be the conduit and help the public be aware of not only who is out there in our world making a difference, but also what you can do to make a difference. I have already done shows, for example, with topics of: Why does a victim stay in abuse?; Adult Survivors of Abuse; Men Survivors of Domestic Violence; and How to Empower our Children. I would love to bring these topics to TV and share with the audience the resources and tools that can be used to empower their lives.

It is my passion to show the audience people and stories of empowerment from all over the world, those who are peacefully and diligently making their world a better place. But even more than that, I would love to also incorporate shows focused on healthy living and teaching simple tools for a happy lifestyle. I truly believe all healing and empowerment begins from within, it all starts with self.

My passion is to bring Project Empowerment to a larger scale and global audience. And I know that if I, as a survivor of Domestic Violence can start a new life and rebuild from scratch, so can another who may be going through tough times right now. Gandhi once said, “You Must Be the Change You Wish to See In the World” and with Project Empowerment, my hope is to do just that.

~Kathleen M. Schmidt

For the link to vote for my audition video go to: http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=video_details&response_id=1292&promo_id=1

For my main website and all the info from the shows I have done go to:

http://www.kathleenmschmidt.com

Your Relationship From Within

2010-01-20T17:45:00Z

How does one put in just a few paragraphs the immensity on the subject of relationships? We could talk about the people we love, our community, our government, our country, our world. But I think the topic at hand should start with the most important relationship we will ever have while residents on this beautiful planet, ourselves.

Tao Te Ching once said, “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.” How well do you know yourself? What are your dreams, desires, goals, and ambitions? Do you just think and wish your life is better, are you making a daily effort to make it happen?

What in your life right now do you want different? I’m sure the first thing that pops in the minds of most is more money. But is just more money going to bring the happiness you desire? What is it really that you want? Peace of mind that you and your family are financially independent? To come and go as you please and work when you want; without answering to a boss?

People tend to keep this “lottery mindset”, thinking if they just have that extra money, all will be better. But unless you learn to change your thinking and learn how to create the life of your dreams, you will always be wishing.

To quote Dr. Wayne Dyer, "Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose."

We always have a choice, always. People need to realize that they do have the power to learn and grow. No one has that power over another. Just as long as you don't give up on your choices.

Many years ago, I fled for my life from an abusive ex husband and lived in a shelter for battered women. When I lived in that shelter, it amazed me how many women gave up on themselves. Perhaps they left their abuser to save their children, but only to go right back into the frying pan. Choose your power, choose your strength; never give up on your dreams. But you have to truly believe in your dreams, not matter how small or big they are.

At the time I was there, just being alive and knowing I was safe brought peace. Knowing that I had a roof over my head and food, no matter how modest it was, kept me going, day after day. Deep down I knew there was a lesson to be learned, and I wanted then to help the others.

Even if all I could do was share a shoulder to cry on and offer a listening ear. I did not know where I was going to live, what kind of work I could get, where my next meal would come from once I left. But I did know that I had to power to create a new life for myself. I refused to give up or go back “into the fire” because it was “easier”.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”. That quote boils down to one word, believe. A person cannot just wish and hope. They have to believe within their gut, their core of values, their entire being that they can change their lives.

Another beautiful quote swirls through my head from Gandhi, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” If we wish to have a peaceful relationship with fellow man, woman and child, it needs to start within. If you wish to have a better life, start from within. Find what you truly want, and not just the outside superficial “stuff”, the house, the car, the money……..what is your driving force? What can you contribute to the world around you?

James Arthur Ray wrote in his book, Harmonic Wealth, “The universe is a constant biofeedback mechanism telling you by way of your exterior results who you are on the interior. When the quality of your relationship with others improves, it’s an indication you’ve done the necessary work to fix the relationship to self. If you can do that, when you build a strong relationship with yourself, then all of your relationships will mirror that healing and strength.”

Since my days in the shelter, I’ve rebuilt my life. I have re-married and have two beautiful boys. We have a modest home, a beautiful yard and flower garden and all the amenities I only dreamt about just a few years ago. And this is only the beginning. One of my many dreams has come true as well. That was to write a book about this experience, with hopes to bring help and inspiration to others.

Life is a beautiful journey, and if something seems so impossible at that moment in time. Always remember you can choose a better feeling. As the words I’ve kept with me all these years so poignantly say, “The light at the end of the tunnel isn’t always a train.”

Kathleen M. Schmidt

Author of “Escaping The Glass Cage: A Story of Survival & Empowerment from Domestic Violence”

www.kathleenmschmidt.com

How To Be A Thrifty Tourist In Your Own Town

2009-11-02T18:06:00Z

Looking for something new to do this weekend without breaking the bank? Be a tourist in your own town! Now, I know that may not sound very exciting to some, but every town/city has something to offer and it could be a lot of fun, affordable and educational as well.

To start off, does your town have it’s own historical society? Most do and usually have a website to go with it. Pretend you’ve never been to your town/city before and look at all the stuff you can check out if you where visiting for the first time.

You can make a list (yes, I’m having you make a list, but trust me, it will be fun) of all the attractions, restaurants, parks, gardens……..anything and everything you can find that peaks your interest. If not, find something new, you may just be surprised at what you can learn at your local library (that’s free too, by the way).

For example, I live in Seattle. There’s so much to do here, I decided to make it my home. I’ve learned that on Sunday’s, it’s free parking on the streets, no need to plug the meter. Many times we’ll pack a lunch, park near Seattle Center and take the kids down to the fountain to run themselves silly. Other times we’ll just park somewhere near the waterfront and do our “urban hiking” through Pioneer Square. You can catch the Underground Seattle tour and learn a whole other side of Seattle you never knew.

I’ve also invested in memberships for the Woodland Park Zoo, Seattle Aquarium, Seattle Art Museum, Museum of Flight and recently, EMP/SFM (Experience Music Project / Science Fiction Museum). The best thing about being a member, you can go as often as you want for as long or little as you want. Plus, it’s something we use all year long, no matter how wet or sunny it is. But if you don’t have the budget for memberships, check out your local attraction’s websites for coupons or discounts. Sometimes you can even get in for free if you go on a certain day of the week, for example like the first Tuesday of the month.
Seattle Center often has free events that are perfect for the kids. It’s a great way to learn about different cultures, local artists, trying new foods…..the list goes on.

Another fun place to visit for cheap is Pike Place Market. Yes, you can eat at the same restaurant Tom Hanks and Rob Rhiner did in Sleepless in Seattle, but if fried fish and clam chowder isn’t your thing, pack a lunch and have cheap snacks. One of our favorites is the Cinnamon Works, they have ginormous snicker doodles as well as vegan baked goods. One cookie can feed the 4 of us (or one, depending on who’s pigging out). You can sample local honey, smell the flowers, taste local fruits and vegetables, watch the fish being tossed and listen to a variety of street performers playing their tunes on anything from a piano to an accordion and a saw (honest!).

Find out what your town/city has to offer. Your city park may have free concerts for the different holiday’s. I know down at the Hiram M Chittenden Locks, aka: Ballard Locks (it’s free to visit) they’ll have a band playing on the weekends near the gardens during the summer. The kids love watching the boats go up and down in the locks and the fish ladder viewing room is always cool to look at. Catch salmon season and you’ll be able to watch the fish jump out of the water. A little tip, park on the south side of the locks for free parking.

If you enjoy exercise and watching people, Green Lake is a great place to go. It’s 2.8 miles around the inner loop, you get a full view of the lake as well as some interesting people, dogs, bikers, and skaters to watch. I’ve even seen a unicyclist. There’s a great park for the kids to play and even a wading pool to cool off in during the summer months.
Another personal favorite is Alki Beach. It doesn’t matter what time of year you go, the view is spectacular, the beach is clean (and yes, that beach scene in Sleepless in Seattle was filmed there too), the biking path is roomy and there’s lots of benches to rest and enjoy the view.

Look around your area for local parks, water features, gardens, statues, anything and everything you can think of and make it fun. Does you town/city have some great walking paths? What about a local farm? When I was a kid I lived in Wyoming for about a year. One of our field trips was to a local ranch where they raised sheep. We got to see a sheep being sheered and even got to keep a sample of the wool.

Just a few weeks ago we drove up to Marysville, WA for the Tulip Festival. We had to pay a small fee to get into the display gardens, but it was worth it! Even my 4 year old enjoyed it. After, we drove past several of the fields of brightly colored flowers and took a ton of pictures.

It doesn’t have to be expensive to be fun. You don’t need some big theme park with overpriced food, long lines and huge crowds to entertain the family. If you plan a little, do some homework, you just may be surprised to find some very cool stuff you never noticed before in your own town.

By Kathleen Schmidt

Author and Work At Home Mom

of Two Type 1 Diabetic Sons

www.KathleenMSchmidt.com

Why Are So Many Kids Developing Type 2 Diabetes?

2009-09-24T04:15:00Z

While researching the information I’m going to share about Type 2 Diabetes in kids I was a bit befuddled. Why such a rise in this disease with kids as young as 10 years old?

When I was a kid, we didn’t have I-Pods, I-Phones, I-Hop (well, that one was around). Social networking was done outside, with the neighbor kids, in the street playing hopscotch, tag, jump rope or riding our bikes.

Going to Burger King was like a 5 star restaurant and it was maybe once a month if that. Having ice-cream after dinner was on a Friday night, not every night. DVD’s, computers, game-boy and many of the other very cool high tech toys simply did not exist. We painted, drew, played house, read books, used our imaginations, I was really good at checkers and Scrabble too!

But it seems now a days, there’s a fast food restaurant on every corner, the excuse “healthy food is too expensive”, I don’t have time to cook, I’m too tired to cook…….and the list goes on.

What has this got to do with the subject at hand? Obesity is on the rise. Parents, in my opinion, are spread too thin with work and afterschool activities. So it’s easier to hit the drive through then plan a few extra minutes ahead and make a simple, healthy dish at home for the family.

It’s not just obesity either; we’re learning that if a child has a close family member with Type 2, the chances are greater they can get it as well. It’s also a factor of their family genes and ethnic background. People of Native American, African American, Hispanic/Latino, or Asian/Pacific Island descent seem to be more prone to developing Type 2 Diabetes. And with the craziness in the bodies with raging hormones at puberty can also cause resistance during this stage of growth.

So what is Type 2 Diabetes? Well, a person with Type 2 still produces insulin (unlike people who have Type 1), but the body doesn’t respond to it properly. They develop insulin resistance which means glucose (sugar) is less able to enter the cells and do its job of supplying energy. This will cause the blood sugar to rise and making the pancreas work harder to produce insulin. Sometimes if it goes on too long, the pancreas can wear out from working overtime.

The good news about this? Kids and teens that have developed Type 2 diabetes can use diet, exercise and medicines that improve the body’s response to insulin to help control their blood sugar levels. And like Type 1, they may even need shots or use an insulin pump.

So how do you know if you have or are developing Type 2 Diabetes?

· Do you have to go to the bathroom more then normal? What’s happening is your kidneys are responding to the high glucose in the blood. So your body is working hard to flush out the extra glucose in urine.

· Are you extra thirsty? Super extra thirsty, like you can’t get enough liquids. What’s going on is because your body is working hard to flush out that extra glucose, your body is simply trying to replenish the fluids lost.

· Are you tired all the time? Your body isn’t able to use the glucose, so your energy is low and sluggish.

There are a few other symptoms like acanthosis nigricans, that’s a skin condition that causes darkening of the skin around the neck, armpits, groin, between fingers and toes or even on the elbows and knees.

A serious condition can develop in girls called polycystic ovary syndrome. This is a condition that can cause cysts on the ovaries and later on, fertility problems.

But what can you do to prevent all this stuff from happening if you are facing Type 2 Diabetes? Learn to take care of your body! Eat a healthy low-fat diet. Get plenty of exercise. Get to and maintain a normal body weight. Monitor your blood sugar levels regularly. Take your medicine! If your doctor wants you to check your blood sugar 5 times a day, then don’t make excuses, do it! And most important, work with your doctor, they are there to help you on the road to better health.

If you don’t have Type 2, it’s always a good idea to still follow the basics, get healthier and stay there. Your body is your vehicle, take good care of it, and eat a healthy balanced diet full of fresh fruits and vegetables. Keep away from the high processed and heavily laden with fat foods. Exercise daily, even if it’s just a 30 minute walk. Your heart, kidneys and pancreas will thank you, as well as the rest of your body!

By Kathleen M. Schmidt

Author and Work At Home Mom

of Two Type 1 Diabetic Sons

www.kathleenmschmidt.com

For more information regarding Type 2 Diabetes, please visit:

http://kidshealth.org

http://www.mayoclinic.com

http://www.childrenwithdiabetes.com/d_0n_d00.htm

Having Kids With Type 1 Diabetes

2009-09-21T05:17:00Z

Both my son's have Type 1 Diabetes and it seems more and more kids lately are developing this mystery disease. But what Is Type 1 Diabetes? According to the Junior Diabetes Research Foundation, they simply explain it this way:

“Type 1 diabetes (juvenile diabetes) can occur at any age, but most commonly is diagnosed from infancy to the late 30s. In this type of diabetes, a person's pancreas produces little or no insulin. Although the causes are not entirely known, scientists believe the body's own defense system (the immune system) attacks and destroys the insulin-producing cells in the pancreas. People with type 1 diabetes must inject insulin several times every day.”

When our oldest, Russell, got sick, we had no idea what the symptoms where. Honestly, we thought he was going through a growth spurt. But is just wasn’t right. He was thirsty all the time, soaked his bed every night, lethargic and eating more then normal but losing weight. I took him to the Dr’s and they did a simple urine test and checked his blood. At the time his brother was only 4 months old and sleeping in my arms. As soon as the tests came back, the Dr. told me I need to get him to the ER right away! I called my husband and we raced to Children’s Hospital. He spent 1 night in the ICU as his blood sugar numbers where so high and out of control.

We felt guilty waiting so long to take him in, but honestly had no idea what was going on in his body. He spent 4 days total at the hospital (they did move him to a reg. room after the first day) so my husband and I could be educated on how to take care of him at home.

A few short years later, his little brother Brian was also diagnosed weeks before his 3rd birthday. He was showing the same symptoms for about a week or so and so we used his big brothers meter to check his blood sugar. Finally, while on Russell’s 7th birthday, we decided to take Brian to Children’s as the blood sugar meter kept saying “hi” (meaning his numbers where over 600). He spent 5 days at Children’s because he also developed a viral infection.

So now we have two kids with Diabetes, two kits, two sets of insulin, meters, syringes, test strips, ect. All the tools of the trade to manage this mystery disease from home. But we do manage it. The kids have taken it on as normal as brushing their teeth.

Both my kids are on Lantus (long acting insulin) and Humalog (short acting). Every morning they each get a shot of Lantus, units are different for each child due to age and weight. The Humalog is given every time they eat food with carbohydrates that fall within a ratio of their target blood sugar. For example, at lunch, my youngest may eat food that ads up to 25 grams of carbs, so if his blood sugar is within its normal range before he eats, his shot will be 1 unit of Humalog. Same applies with his big brother, just a different dosage ratio.

How do we figure out their dosages for Lantus and Humalog? Every three months since the date of their diagnosis, we visit the Endocrine Clinic at Children’s Hospital here in Seattle. Their Dr. takes a blood sample, much like their finger pokes and that will tell her their A1C levels (A1C is a test that measures a patient’s blood glucose level over the previous three months that might also help predict serious health complications like heart attack and stroke).

They also download their blood glucose meters to get a readout of their average blood sugars over the last few months. With this information, she can decide where the peaks and lows are, and where the Lantus and Humalog may need adjusting. Their Dr also has a computer program on the hospital database that helps with the calculations as well as “cheat sheets” we use for each child. You see. They many times have different dosages for the Humalog for EACH meal during the day, for EACH child. A chart for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner (if they eat a snack, for example, mid morning, I use the dosage for breakfast to treat it if necessary).

We’ve been very lucky with Children’s, they’ve got the best Endocrine team there and have helped us weather many storms through both boys dealing with illness or simply not able to get their numbers under control.

This leads me to another thing we have to watch out for, ketones. Or as we like to tell our kids, we need to fight the “ketone monsters”.

What are Ketones?

Ketones are due to not enough insulin being available to meet the body’s needs. The 2 main causes are illness/infections (the body needs extra energy to fight off a virus or bad cold) or forgetting to take an insulin shot. There are other causes, but the primary ones we’ve had to deal with are the two mentioned. Another bugger, which is worse, is acidosis.

Now acidosis is the result of letting ketones get out of hand. Perhaps insulin isn’t available due to an emergency situation, or the person is simply not taking care of their diabetic needs properly. See, it is not high blood sugar that causes ketones or acidosis; eating sugar does not cause acidosis. Ketones come from the breakdown of body fat. The role of insulin is to shut off fat breakdown. Now if the stress hormones are high or there simply isn’t enough insulin, fat will begin to break down. And the side product of fat breakdown is ketones production. In the early stages, it can be tested with urine. But if left undetected, ketones can also build up in the blood and eventually in the body tissues. When it gets this far, it will result in acidosis (DKA).

For example, my youngest spent a week at Children’s Hospital when he got the stomach flu last February. He was so sick; we couldn’t get him to keep any food or liquid down. Because he wasn’t eating, his blood sugar dropped low, and we couldn’t give him insulin to deal with the heavy ketones because he wasn’t eating. So in turn, he was on an IV drip to help rehydrate his little system as well as supply glucose for his body to work with. Even the smallest amount of long acting insulin dropped him low to the point the Glucagon wouldn’t work (that is an emergency glucose administered through as a shot to help the body draw stores of sugar from the liver). But because we where able to get him in and on an IV drip, he never got as far as DKA.

Our oldest son has also developed ketones because of the flu and or a head cold. His body will have really high blood sugars (only a couple of times has he had heavy ketones and low blood sugars, luckily never needing to be admitted, but did have an ER visit). So we follow a sick day management regimen and different calculations according to how heavy his ketones are so we know how much extra insulin he needs to get his blood sugar under control. As with any illness, lots of fluids, especially water are a necessity but even more so with diabetics.

So anytime my kids come down with even just a sniffel, we’re on them to check for ketones and watching their blood sugars closely. We have test strips that can be dipped in urine that show a color code to how light or heavy their ketones are. Staying on top of their sick day management has prevented many trips to the ER.

What can my kids eat?

Anything! What is so nice about the insulin they’re on; they’re not restricted to how much food or type of food they can eat. We do, however watch how much fat (limited “fast food” and “junk food”) and salt intake because it raises blood pressure as well as threatens the circulatory system. The reason fat restriction is very important because high cholesterol and diabetes are two of the four risk factors for developing heart disease. (The other two for developing heart disease is smoking and family history).

So I make a lot of my own foods for home. I’ve posted many of our favorite recipes here at www.thepoorchef.com. I also input the nutrition information on a program I use at home that gives me the carb amount on home recipes per serving (www.fitday.com). Another great resource for food items, especially if you’re eating out (most restaurants now supply nutrition info) is a pocket book from www.CalorieKing.com . I keep a copy in the car just in case, trust me, having extra resources to go to in a snap is so handy.

What about school?

Again, we are very lucky to have a great school district who supplies a full time nurse. Nurse Alice is the best. We have a system down for my oldest son Russell. I make his lunch and provide all the carb info for what is packed. She just has to add up what he’s eaten and is able to use the “cheat sheets” I’ve provided so she knows how much insulin to give him at lunch time. We talk almost every day about his numbers so I have a complete log for when it’s time to go to the Dr’s. It’s a team effort and I can use all the help I can get. Brian isn’t quite ready for school yet, but I know he’ll be well taken care of when it’s time.

I can’t say it’s been an easy road and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But if you’re reading this and have a loved one with Type 1 Diabetes, I hope the information has been of some help. It’s an ongoing education and we’re so grateful to live in a time where medical breakthroughs are happening all the time. Who knows, maybe by the time my kids are in high school, there may be a cure for Diabetes. Until then, we’ll keep managing their care, not let it get us down or hold us back from living a happy and normal life.

By Kathleen M. Schmidt

Author and Work At Home Mom

of Two Type 1 Diabetic Sons

www.kathleenmschmidt.com

For more information regarding Type 1 Diabetes, please visit: Junior Diabetes ResearchFoundation

“Understanding Diabetes, A Handbook for People Who Are Living with Diabetes”, by H. Peter Chase, MD (aka: The Pink Panther Book

How Big Is Your Dream Circle?

2009-09-21T01:30:00Z

We should probably start this out with, what is a Dream Circle? Well, remember your favorite comic strips with the little bubble above the character’s head either holding their thoughts or dreams. Your Dream Circle should be your dreams of what you wish to become, the things or stuff you want in your life, the life partner you wish to have, and so on.

But unfortunately, most tend to shrink their Dream Circle to match their current life. They think limiting thoughts by feeling they can’t have it, can’t achieve it, can't lose the weight, can't afford healthy food, don’t make enough money……and the list goes on.

What can you do to reverse this? One way is increase your current results to match your Dream Circle. Sounds easy, right? Before you can do this, you need to clear out any negative thoughts or feelings that are holding you back and create new beliefs about and for yourself. Remember that old saying, turn your can’t into I can? Everything from starting a new business to making healthier lifestyle changes is that your success will depend on your beliefs.

Now your asking, how do I do this? A very simple, but great tool I’ve personally used is like a treasure map or vision board. On it you want to see a visual reminder of your ideal scene, with your goal fully realized. Make it as if it already exists and NEVER show anything you don’t want.

If you’re thinking that you’re really not sure about what you do want, I be you know what you don’t want. Make a list of all the don’t wants, like: I don’t want to be fat. I don’t want to be poor. I don’t want____________; then go back and make a new list of the polar opposite. With that new list in hand, you’ll have a great starting point to create your new treasure map or vision board. Remember, life is like a salad bar, there are so many choices out there, but no one can force you to eat what you don't like.

There are several types of treasure map’s or vision boards that you can create. Build one for health, your weight or physical condition, self-image and beauty, relationships, job or career, creativity, family and friends, travel and so on. The point is to have fun and to make your dream circle HUGE!

Something also to keep in mind is that you need to see yourself in the pictures, in that new car looking over the dash, standing in that new kitchen, or in that chair lounging on the beach. Not just dreaming and wishing about them, but being in the picture.

Another excellent tool you can use to help shift your thinking is learning one of the most powerful phrases, “I Am”. For example, write or say out loud to yourself (yes, you’ll feel silly, but I promise it’s very effective):

I am healthy, vibrant and full of energy.
I am attracting unlimited abundance to my life.
I am happy, fulfilled and excited about my dream business/job.
I am happy and excited about sharing my life with my dream partner.
I am living the life of my dreams.

You get the idea. Create positive words to build your future life with. As I’ve learned, today is only the result of yesterday’s choices. But tomorrow is brought about by what your are choosing to do right now.

So if you want that dream kitchen, go visit a showroom or even your dream house with all the stuff you wish for. Put yourself in that place, feel the cool granite countertops, push the buttons on that new dishwasher. If you want that new body, go look at new clothes, feel the softness of the cashmere or silk, visualize it on your skin and how it will look on your lean body. Imagine your body healthy, trim and strong. If you want a new car, sit in the one you dream about. Smell the leather, feel the steering wheel, turn on the stereo and listen to that amazing sound system. Be in the picture, not just see the picture.

And if any negative thoughts creep back into your mind, like “this isn‘t real, this can‘t happen, are you joking?!”, snap it out of there like a rubber band on your wrist and say “Thank you, next.“ Those thoughts are like the weeds in a garden. They need to be pulled before they take over and choke out the good plants. You need to water and cultivate your good plants or thoughts. And yes, it takes practice. A dream is just a direction, not the end result, because once you get the hang of this. You’ll be creating more and more in your life. As a friend once told me, you never get it done.

In time, your beliefs about what you can do will change, opportunities will open up and many of your dreams will be realized.

So is it possible to live the life of your dreams? You bet it is, but you have to be willing to dare to dream big and believe in yourself.

As one of my favorite people once said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt.

How big is your Dream Circle?

By Kathleen M. Schmidt

Author and Work At Home Mom

of Two Type 1 Diabetic Sons