BLOG.KATHLEENMSCHMIDT.COM: Your Relationship From Within

Your Relationship From Within

How does one put in just a few paragraphs the immensity on the subject of relationships? We could talk about the people we love, our community, our government, our country, our world. But I think the topic at hand should start with the most important relationship we will ever have while residents on this beautiful planet, ourselves.

Tao Te Ching once said, “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.” How well do you know yourself? What are your dreams, desires, goals, and ambitions? Do you just think and wish your life is better, are you making a daily effort to make it happen?

What in your life right now do you want different? I’m sure the first thing that pops in the minds of most is more money. But is just more money going to bring the happiness you desire? What is it really that you want? Peace of mind that you and your family are financially independent? To come and go as you please and work when you want; without answering to a boss?

People tend to keep this “lottery mindset”, thinking if they just have that extra money, all will be better. But unless you learn to change your thinking and learn how to create the life of your dreams, you will always be wishing.

To quote Dr. Wayne Dyer, "Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose."

We always have a choice, always. People need to realize that they do have the power to learn and grow. No one has that power over another. Just as long as you don't give up on your choices.

Many years ago, I fled for my life from an abusive ex husband and lived in a shelter for battered women. When I lived in that shelter, it amazed me how many women gave up on themselves. Perhaps they left their abuser to save their children, but only to go right back into the frying pan. Choose your power, choose your strength; never give up on your dreams. But you have to truly believe in your dreams, not matter how small or big they are.

At the time I was there, just being alive and knowing I was safe brought peace. Knowing that I had a roof over my head and food, no matter how modest it was, kept me going, day after day. Deep down I knew there was a lesson to be learned, and I wanted then to help the others.

Even if all I could do was share a shoulder to cry on and offer a listening ear. I did not know where I was going to live, what kind of work I could get, where my next meal would come from once I left. But I did know that I had to power to create a new life for myself. I refused to give up or go back “into the fire” because it was “easier”.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”. That quote boils down to one word, believe. A person cannot just wish and hope. They have to believe within their gut, their core of values, their entire being that they can change their lives.

Another beautiful quote swirls through my head from Gandhi, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” If we wish to have a peaceful relationship with fellow man, woman and child, it needs to start within. If you wish to have a better life, start from within. Find what you truly want, and not just the outside superficial “stuff”, the house, the car, the money……..what is your driving force? What can you contribute to the world around you?

James Arthur Ray wrote in his book, Harmonic Wealth, “The universe is a constant biofeedback mechanism telling you by way of your exterior results who you are on the interior. When the quality of your relationship with others improves, it’s an indication you’ve done the necessary work to fix the relationship to self. If you can do that, when you build a strong relationship with yourself, then all of your relationships will mirror that healing and strength.”

Since my days in the shelter, I’ve rebuilt my life. I have re-married and have two beautiful boys. We have a modest home, a beautiful yard and flower garden and all the amenities I only dreamt about just a few years ago. And this is only the beginning. One of my many dreams has come true as well. That was to write a book about this experience, with hopes to bring help and inspiration to others.

Life is a beautiful journey, and if something seems so impossible at that moment in time. Always remember you can choose a better feeling. As the words I’ve kept with me all these years so poignantly say, “The light at the end of the tunnel isn’t always a train.”